9 Things To Consider Before Getting A Divorce

Be Sure You Want to Divorce

Before proposing divorce, you should be sure that this is actually what you want. You shouldn’t present a divorce as a power move or in an attempt to make your spouse treat you better. 

If you don’t actually want a divorce, this could backfire on you if your spouse agrees to the divorce. Before presenting your spouse with a divorce, make sure that you’re ready to let go and move on from your spouse.

Consider Getting a Job

If you’ve been a stay-at-home parent or out of the workforce, it could be difficult for you to find work. You’ll need to find a way to support yourself while paying for your own housing and supporting yourself.

If you’re in a situation of financial abuse and are worried about how you’ll be able to support yourself through divorce, contact us today. We can help get you in touch with programs that will help get you back on your feet.

Finances can be a major factor in a divorce. Getting a divorce alone can be costly because it involves your time and hiring a lawyer. How your finances will be impacted moving forward is also important to consider.

However, if you’re in an abusive relationship and are financially dependent on your abusive spouse, don’t let finances force you to stay in a dangerous relationship. Instead, it’s important to think about an exit plan of how you’ll deal with financial independence and who you may be able to count on to help you during the transition and make a plan. 

Remember, if you’re financially dependent on your spouse, there are options an attorney can help you pursue, including alimony and separate maintenance during the divorce proceedings.

Division of Assets

How your marital assets are divided between you and your spouse will be decided during your divorce. It’s common for couples to end up selling their house because it's a shared asset, and it may be easier for couples to sell their home than deal with joint ownership.

Impact on Your Children

If you and your spouse have children together, it’s important to consider how your divorce could impact your children. Getting divorced can have a long-term effect on your children’s lives. Your children may be happier living with two separate parents who get along, but this isn’t always the case. 

Watching their parents go through a divorce could impact their children’s emotions and social lives. This could bring up a lot of emotions and may make your children feel angry or sad, especially towards you.

Parenting will be more logistically challenging after your divorce. Not only will you have to navigate co-parenting with your ex, but you will also have to learn how to operate as a single parent.

However, if your children are witnesses to abuse because you’re choosing to stay in a toxic, harmful relationship, it can be better to show your children that they don’t need to stay in similar relationships in their own adult lives and prevent them from experiencing abuse, too. 

Changes to Your Life

Getting a divorce could completely change your life. You could lose friends, and you may be left feeling alone or alienated. Even how you spend your holidays will change. You may be left spending holidays alone and feeling excluded from your family.

Getting a divorce can be extremely isolating, especially if you’ve been married for a long time. You could lose all of your set traditions and family dynamics.

When you contemplate what your life looks like after divorce, carefully consider how you will make changes to your life and how you may do things differently. What would your day-to-day life look like after a divorce? Divorce’s effects on your life go well beyond holidays and change your daily habits and routines, too.

Have You Communicated Issues?

Before presenting your spouse with a divorce, it’s a good idea to think through if you’ve communicated your issues and feelings to your spouse. You may feel like your spouse should know everything you’re upset about, but they may have no idea about all the issues. It’s important to make sure you’ve communicated all of your feelings and frustrations.

Communicating issues with your spouse can help make sure that you’ve tried to work on everything that is bothering you. This means that you’re giving your marriage the best chance possible.

But if you’ve made yourself clear and feel that your spouse has acknowledged the issues without changing, divorce may be the best route forward.

The State of Your Marriage

You should analyze the state of your marriage. All marriages go through rough patches or difficult times. Are the difficulties you’re dealing with a phase in your marriage, or is this the state of your marriage?

It’s not realistic to think that your marriage won’t have difficult moments, but if your marriage has wholly become difficult moments, it’s a different story. You should think about whether or not you’re marriage is just going through a tough time and if you think there’s a chance your marriage will get better.

Is Your Marriage Recoverable?

Are there still feelings left between you and your spouse, and could you work on recovering your marriage? If you and your spouse still care about each other and your relationship, you may be able to work through your issues and repair your relationship. 

When thinking about working on your marriage, it’s important to consider all of the factors and be realistic. If your spouse is using or addicted to drugs or alcohol, it could make it more difficult to repair your marriage. Drug or alcohol use can change how someone acts and impact your ability to work on your relationship.

If your spouse is having an affair or you’re currently separated, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your marriage isn’t recoverable. In this case of an affair, if your spouse is ready to move on and you’re able to forgive, your marriage may be able to recover. If you are currently separated, talking through your issues or working on them in marriage in counseling could help you repair your marriage and avoid divorce. 

If you’ve discovered something dangerous about your spouse, such as illegal activity, your marriage may not be recoverable. In order to protect yourself, it may be a good idea to distance yourself from your spouse. The same can be said if you’re in an abusive relationship. It’s important to understand that even if you feel love for your spouse, it should not be to your own detriment.

Was This a Whirlwind Romance?

Did you get married after a whirlwind relationship and later realize you don’t have anything in common? If it was a fast-moving relationship, your spouse may likely feel the same way. Getting married after knowing your spouse for a very short period of time may make getting a divorce simpler because the length of the entire relationship is typically shorter, there are fewer common assets, and you typically don’t have children.

Your Future Relationship with Your Spouse

Before starting the divorce process, it’s important to consider your relationship with your spouse. People typically don’t get along better with their spouse after going through a divorce. It’s important to make sure that you’re prepared for this change in your relationship. It could be a horrible loss or a major change to your life that you may not ever fully come back from.

Alternatives to Divorce

Marriage counseling is a great alternative to divorce. It gives you a space separately or together to talk through the issues in your relationship with an uninvolved third party. Going to a counselor can give you a space to work on your relationship and discover if there is a way you can work to fix the issues in your marriage.

However, if you’ve tried counseling and nothing is changing, it may be time to strongly consider divorce as your next step. There is a limit to how much work a healthy marriage needs. If you feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing is working, it may just be time to go your separate ways.

Contact a Divorce Attorney

Divorce is a serious step in a major that shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s important to be aware that while a divorce is a major step, if you are unsafe in any way, you should not hesitate to move forward with getting a divorce.

If you decide that following through with the divorce is the best option for you, it may be a good idea to work with a divorce attorney. Getting a divorce can be an extremely complicated process, especially when there are children involved. An attorney can help simplify the divorce process by handling the paperwork and process for you, including dealing with your spouse and their attorney.

Jason Campbell is an experienced divorce attorney who will fight for your rights. Contact us today to learn more about how we may be able to help you through your divorce.